I met with one of my coaching clients this week and what I absolutely love about coaching is that I almost ALWAYS learn something valuable from them in the process. Maybe it’s a bit selfish but I LOVE that coaching allows me to nestle my way into the deepest parts of people hearts and minds to shine a light on the BS that holds them captive…that keeps them from living their best life. In the process…that God forsaken light usually turns back around on me exposing an area of my own self that needed the very same lesson.
This blog post is captioned “Drink the Damn Kool-Aid” because for real people…most of our life lessons come in a pretty little box wrapped in ironic and humorous nuances. So let’s talk about this coaching call and how it ended up being a humorous lesson on how we hold ourselves back.
I have been working with a client of mine Lynn for several months now. Lynn is a seasoned and talented hairstylist that is so incredibly knowledgeable about our industry and passionate about the quality of the work that she does and values her relationships with her guests. What I’m trying to say…in a nutshell, is that she is pretty awesome! And what do awesome people do? They charge their worth!
Over the past couple of months we’ve worked on restructuring her service and price list to reflect her experience, expertise and value…however, what I noticed is that each time we talked she had still not been charging her new pricing. I mean…there was always a “legitimate” reason of course. After our third call with no action I knew it was time to call the BS card on her.
She’s a smart girl, so of course it was no surprise to her that this repetitive behavior wasn’t going to slide for much longer. When I asked her if she realized she may be subconsciously putting the task of raising her prices off, she agreed.
This is a prime example of how we stand in our own way at times. FEAR stops us dead in our tracks… and the chatter of SELF DOUBT torments us until we succumb to it’s grimy level. So all of this is interesting BUT what’s super juicy is the stuff that we discovered under the surface.
After some digging and realizing that there was a feeling of guilt around raising her prices, Lynn revealed that when she was younger she had a really great life. She traveled and got to do things that many other kids didn’t have the chance to do. There was a feeling of guilt that she had about this, so in turn she would down play her awesome childhood experiences to be sure to not make any of her friends feel badly.
Ooooo girl! I love it. The great thing about dusting the surface of a destructive thought or behavior like this is that you usually discover how deep these roots really go.
Fast forward to this summer…Lynn told me something that literally made me laugh out loud! She said that when she took her kids to the amusement park this summer…along with her she took a collapsable cup so she could fill it with water. First of all… the first thing I thought of were the collapsable cups from the early 90’s when I was young and I thought…do they even still sell those? Where does one even find a collapsable cup now days? (Below is the picture she sent me)
But what she told me next was the surrendering white flag I was looking for. She said she brings her collapsable cup because she doesn’t NEED the souvenir cup with the fancy drink in it. In the next sentence…she said she doesn’t DESERVE it…she shouldn’t be spending the money on it.
OK…so first I have to preface this by giving her a proverbial high five for wanting to save a buck or two…nothing wrong with that, in fact I encourage it. HOWEVER this wasn’t about a buck or two or being frugal & resourceful…she could have totally afforded $5 to buy the damn Kool-Aid and the bad ass souvenir cup but instead she CHOSE to drink water out of a collapsable cup…and for what?
HERE IS THE POINT…. Because she didn’t FEEL as though she was the type of person who needed or could have what she actually wanted. Girl…drink the damn Kool-Aid!
The dimming of her awesome childhood and the experiences that molded her eventually manifested in the suppression of the joys and abundance that money and great experiences can have in our lives. The things that she could have easily and joyously taken part in were right in front of her but she chose otherwise. And when we choose from a place of scarcity we attract scarceness and insufficiency.
After our conversation ended we were both laughing at this collapsable plastic cup; and as silly or ridiculous as it may sound…how it will forever be a symbol of how she is playing way to small of a game for the absolutely awesome life that she deserves.
I believe that the things that we desire are actually ours for the taking. Just like Lynn could have gotten the chalice souvenir cup or charged every penny she is worth and then some… these things are sitting within an arms reach and all we have to do is extend a hand of faith and grab hold of it.
I have to wonder…is this you? Are you wanting the job promotion or that car you have been dreaming of? Are you waiting to take the vacation you’ve been researching for months or are you hesitating to take the first leap in opening your own business or sitting on an awesome idea because you have no idea how to make it happen. Do you have an amount of money that you wish you could be making or a relationship that you wish you could have…I mean, I could really go on forever. We hold ourselves back SO much!
What I can tell you is that the very first step in getting the things that you want in this life is first believing that you deserve them…and call me naive…but I 100% wholeheartedly believe that you absolutely do.
I’m not saying that it won’t take hard work, planning, a bit of patience, grit or a certain amount of learning…anything that excites your soul, that makes you want to jump out of bed, that makes your heart beam will take a certain amount of effort. However, it might just be a lot closer than you think…and it’s simply waiting there for you to say “Yes please… and Thank You”
A very special thank you to Lynn for allowing me to share a piece of her journey to growth & success <3